And as fast as this diet begins, it’s over.

This “Hollywood” diet is really glamorous. I feel like I’m ready to don a tux and go to The People’s Choice Awards!

I love when an infomercial will have a paid celebrity endorsement, but they can’t really get anybody legit so they have to choose one of the kids from Just the Ten of Us or the guy who played the dad on Small Wonder (yeah, search your mind for an image of that guy). And they’ll say something like, “Whenever I’m on the set, I make sure I have my Sunstop Sunglasses on me. They keep my eyes safe from harmful UV rays but I can still see the director as clear as day,” or something like that. And I’m always sitting on my couch thinking, “Who are you kidding! You haven’t been on tv for 20 goddamn years!”

As far as I can tell. The Hollwyood 48-Hour Miracle Diet couldn’t actually dredge up anyone with a SAG card to pimp their juice for them, so I don’t really know where the “Hollywood” comes into it. Maybe that’s where they juice the pineapples. I don’t know.

I do know that day two left me feeling a fair bit hungrier, but it wasn’t anything too bad. I wasn’t around a lot of people eating, so I didn’t have that type of temptation. Apparently I am now “detoxed” due to not eating or drinking anything besides this juice and water for the past couple days. I don’t feel any different. I know I’m supposed to be feeling on top of the world because of this, but I don’t notice anything except a fairly steady hunger.

So, how did the diet work? Well, tomorrow I will write up my summary and let you know the total amount I lost in two days, and the net loss after a day of eating like a normal person (which is the only important figure, as far as I’m concerned).