Well, as I’ve explained, the pizza diet was a bust. It worked in the short-term, but the rebound from it after Easter and one day of being sick was tremendous. Over the course of three days on the diet I actually lost 3.5 pounds, but after a couple days of eating normally I gained back everything and then some — 6.5 pounds overall! Holy Mackeral! I don’t really blame the Pizza Diet so much as I do the inflated weight-loss of the Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet.

What I need to do now is implement my secret diet weapon. Oh yes, a diet that will not only shed pounds but also alienate anybody who reads this site; it will be an affront to them nutritionally and ideologically. Look for that diet announcement later tonight.