Well, day one on the Stewardess Diet is over, and I’m flying high! It’s good to see that being on these fad diets hasn’t dullened my brilliant comic wit.

If you would like to follow along at home on the Stewardess Diet, here is what you will eat on Day 1.

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit and black coffee or tea
Lunch: Broiled steak, lettuce & tomato salad (no dressing), one small apple.
Dinner: 2 hard-boiled eggs, green beans, 1 grapefruit.

I’ve been thinking. If they really wanted stewardesses to lose weight, they should have been feeding them airline food. Nobody can eat that! Right? Right!!

Oh, my god, I’m so hilarious. Hold on, I need to make a note to myself:

– Send hilarious stewardess diet joke to Arsenio. –

That’s all for now. I’ll write again soon.