“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” – Thoreau I’ve been reading some of the weight-loss message boards recently in search of some new fad diets to put through their paces. The message boards can be such a depressing mix of hope and frustration that I can’t spend too much time on them. [...]
Archive for August, 2007
Simplify
Posted in Fat Camp on August 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Questions
Posted in Fat Camp on August 27, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I’m one of those people who can’t stop coming up with pointless questions to pose to myself and others. “Would you rather be buried alive or burned alive?” I asked myself the other day. “How many five-year-olds could you beat in a fight if they all had baseball bats?” I wish I could train my [...]
Candy Diet – Summary
Posted in Candy Diet on August 22, 2007 | 1 Comment »
I believe people should probably eat more candy. It might not be the best for your physical health, but I think it’s probably good for your mental health. There are certain things that are hard to do and be depressed at the same time like playing a ukulele, going down a water slide, or receiving [...]
Candy Diet – Pre-Summary
Posted in Candy Diet on August 20, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
So, the Candy Diet ended yesterday. Four days of all candy was really quite delectable, but I was definitely in need of some protein when it ended. I stuck religiously to the all-candy ethos of the diet, but if you go on the diet you don’t really have to. In fact, that’s the real beauty [...]
Candy Diet – Day 2
Posted in Candy Diet on August 17, 2007 | 1 Comment »
What’s for dinner tonight on the candy diet? Spaghetti and Meatballs Ingredients: 2 Nerds Ropes 1 pack of Whoppers 1. Go to store and pick up some Nerds Rope and Whoppers 2. Nod to the cashier. Mumble, “Uhm, yeah, it’s for my kids you see. They… well, you know…uhm…. good report cards and all that.” [...]
Candy Diet – Day 1
Posted in Candy Diet on August 16, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
So, here’s the Candy Diet as I do it. Essentially what it comes down to is 6 servings of candy throughout the day. 1 for breakfast, 2 for lunch and 3 for dinner. And by “servings” I mean whatever it actually says is a serving on the packaging, not whatever I can shove in my [...]
Next Diet
Posted in Candy Diet on August 14, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Some guy has come out with a book called The Candy Diet. Sounds great, until you realize that it just means eating a few pieces of hard candy in addition to a healthy diet. Hmmmm… listen pal, first off thanks for spending 80 seconds coming up with the cover design of your book. Second, adding [...]
Subway Diet – Summary
Posted in Subway diet on August 13, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I’m officially in Jared’s Army now that I have completed one week on the Subway diet. So what have we learned? Well, after one week on the Subway diet I lost about three pounds. Which is nothing spectacular, but isn’t so bad either. It cost me approximately $91 to do the Subway diet for a [...]
Subway Diet – Day 7
Posted in Subway diet on August 9, 2007 | 1 Comment »
My greatest regret in this weight loss ordeal is that I never wore really large pants. Even when I was at my highest weight, the largest size I ever wore were pants with a 42 inch waist. That’s big but it’s really not that big. I figure once I reach my goal weight the best I [...]
Subway Diet – Day 4
Posted in Subway diet on August 6, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
You know what you don’t see very often? A group of people giving the “thumbs up” in a picture unironically. Never stop rocking, Jared. Never stop. Seriously, have you ever seen someone with less charm and personality than Jared? Good Christ. It amazes me that he is still around pitching Subway. I mean he’s been [...]
