The problem with Atkins isn’t just that it became the biggest diet in the country and we still just got fatter and fatter, the problem is that for it to work the way people would like to think it works (that calories don’t matter, only the type of food does)  the laws of physics would have to be suspended. 

Before I started this blog I worked on another weight loss blog with a friend of mine and wrote the following and I think it’s important so I’m reposting it here.

People want to believe there is a secret to weight loss. They want to believe it’s something more obscure than calories in vs. calories out. Even people who subscribe to the belief that calories are the most important factor in weight loss will often say things like, “Yes, calories are the most important, but it’s also important that you don’t get those calories from junk food,” or they’ll say, “Sure, calories matter but not as much as limiting your carbs.” I couldn’t disagree more with these types of statements. There is often little to no science behind these ideas. On the other hand, there is a ton of science behind the notion that calories consumed is the primary factor behind what you weigh. In fact, perhaps the most famous equation in science has weight-loss implications.

E = mc²

Everybody has seen that equation. A lot of people don’t know what it means. Put simply it is this:

E = energy
m = mass
c = the speed of light
and the little two means to multiply the speed of light by itself

so

Energy = (mass) multiplied by (the speed of light) squared

Now, the speed of light doesn’t change, it’s what’s known as a constant. So what this equation tells us is that energy has a direct relationship to mass. In fact, they are just different forms of the same thing.

A calorie is a measurement of energy and for our purposes mass is the same as weight. So once again we’re back to the calories you consume (and expend) will ultimately determine what you weigh. There’s no way around it. But it works in reverse too. Every time you expend energy (and everything you do expends energy) you lose a little weight. You lose weight every time you blink. Yes, it’s a minuscule amount, but the more energy you expend the more weight you’ll lose. I hear people say, “I exercise all the time, but I don’t lose any weight.” But that’s impossible. If you’re expending energy you’re losing weight because they’re one in the same thing.

So you may wonder why I’m bothering with a fad-diet-diet if I don’t think the type of food matters all that much. The answer is a few reasons. First, I like to try things out even when I’m skeptical of them. Who knows, maybe there is some magic combination of foods that science has yet to uncover that revs up the “fat burning furnace” the infomercials are always talking about. Maybe my Tang and microwave S’mores diet will be the secret to dropping pounds and I’ll be up for the Nobel prize. Second, I like the structure that’s inherent in fad diets, it makes food decisions a snap. And thirdly I think it’s fun to eat only certain types of foods or combinations of food for the hell of it. I don’t know, I’m just wired that way.

Next diet announcement coming soon.

One thing for sure is that it makes you feel like you have something rotting in your stomach to eat so much meat. I ate McDonald’s for a week and I felt like a million bucks, but not so with Atkins. It’s a good thing I’m anal about my oral hygiene or I’m sure my breath would be foul. Wow, that last sentence is probably the least sexual sentence on the internet that contains the words “anal” and “oral.”

The Induction phase is the first, and most restrictive, phase of the Atkins Nutritional Approach. It is intended to cause the body to quickly enter a state of ketosis. Carbohydrate intake is limited to 20 net grams per day (grams of carbohydrates minus grams of fiber), 12 to 15 net grams of which must come in the form of salad greens and other vegetables. The allowed foods include a liberal amount of all meats, fish, shellfish, fowl, and eggs; up to 4 ounces of hard cheese; salad vegetables; other low carb vegetables; and butter and vegetable oils. Alcoholic beverages are not allowed during this phase. Caffeine is allowed in moderation so long as it does not cause cravings or low blood sugar. If a caffeine addiction is evident, it is best to not allow it until later phases of the diet. A daily multivitamin with minerals is also recommended.

You don’t see too many people doing Atkins these days. This probably has a little something to do with the fact that it was the biggest diet in the country for a few years and still people kept getting fatter. People are always going to look for something new when the something old doesn’t seem to be working so hot. That’s what’s so great about my All Fad-Diet-Diet, it’s constantly something new and different — grapefruit one week, salami the next.

I’m going to stick to the Atkins diet 100% this week and we’ll see what happens.  But I am going to put the diet to the test. I’m going to eat a nice-sized amount of food at every meal while staying within the Atkin’s framework. It’s one thing if you lose weight on a diet because you’re consuming less calories, but the Atkins diet doesn’t seem too  concerned with calories, so I don’t see any reason why I should be.

Beef – it’s what for dinner (and, likely, breakfast).

That’s right! They’re selling butter and cheese and all kinds of cans of meat!

Is this just a sign on the door of a market? I say no. I say it’s a sign from the universe that I should be going on Atkins. I start piling on the meat tomorrow.

Stay tuned tonight for that sign from god and the next diet announcement.