» Pizza Diet

Pizza Diet – Summary

Andy — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 21:18:44 +0000

Well, as I’ve explained, the pizza diet was a bust. It worked in the short-term, but the rebound from it after Easter and one day of being sick was tremendous. Over the course of three days on the diet I actually lost 3.5 pounds, but after a couple days of eating normally I gained back everything and then some — 6.5 pounds overall! Holy Mackeral! I don’t really blame the Pizza Diet so much as I do the inflated weight-loss of the Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet.

What I need to do now is implement my secret diet weapon. Oh yes, a diet that will not only shed pounds but also alienate anybody who reads this site; it will be an affront to them nutritionally and ideologically. Look for that diet announcement later tonight.

Ill

Andy — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 02:14:55 +0000

I’m getting over a little cold/flu business so I’m holding things up for a day.

Tomorrow I will write my summary report on the Pizza Diet (big failure), and I’ll announce the next diet.

Pizza Diet – Day 3 Report

Andy — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 03:58:36 +0000

Here is the lesson of the Pizza Diet: There is nothing that doesn’t suck after 3 days straight of eating it.

In fact, the problem with the Pizza Diet is one of expectations. When you go on, say, the grapefruit and cottage cheese diet, you know it’s going to suck and when it does it’s no big deal because it’s what you expected. But with something like the Pizza Diet you think, “Hey, this won’t be so bad, I love pizza!” But eventually it does begin to suck, there’s no way around it.

I learned a valuable lesson though. Don’t go into any diet thinking it’s going to be easy or enjoyable and then you won’t be disappointed when it is neither. My friend has a dieting philosophy that you should make things as hard on yourself as possible. I think this is a pretty sound philosophy. Consciously trying to make things hard on yourself is a form of play. Think about it. If you have thirty logs that are fifty pounds each that you have to move from point A to point B, you are going to do it in the least challenging way possible because it’s work. But with a game, you consciously try to make things more challenging. We all do it; it’s human nature. There are many versions of solitaire, some which you can win virtually every time, but in the most popular version — Klondike — you very rarely win, but people play it all their lives because they like the challenge. Similarly if you decide you’re going to move thirty logs without using your hands, then you’ve taken it out of the work realm and made it into sport, and I think even if it’s tougher it becomes more enjoyable. In essence that’s what I’m trying to do with this whole fad-diet diet I’m on. Make the weight loss process more difficult than it needs to be by sticking to arcane, idiotic diets, then take pleasure in that process. Like Mary Poppins said, “You find the fun and snap, the job’s a game!” Finding the fun is never about taking the easiest way out, it’s about testing yourself.

The Pizza Diet was a challenge, but I went into it thinking it was a treat and that’s where I screwed myself. Live and learn.

Pizza Diet – Day 2 Report

Andy — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 22:22:16 +0000

Hmmm, I think I’m already starting to get a little sick of pizza. Or at least my standards are getting a little higher. You know how people will say, “Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good”? Well, that’s true enough, as far as it goes, but I have my own saying and it goes like this, “Sex is like pizza. I’m happy to have it four time a day, but when you’re having it that frequently you at least want it to be above average.” Thankfully there is only one more day to go on the Pizza Diet. I don’t want to ruin a good thing. You know how it goes. I remember once in college I had Corn Nuts for the first time and I loved them. Then whenever I would stop at a gas station I would pick up some Corn Nuts and enjoy them. Then, one day I saw some small bags of them on sale at 10 for a dollar and I bought 100 bags. And soon, of course, I started hating Corn Nuts and I haven’t had any since.

Now that I think of it,I could kind of go for some Corn Nuts. Actually, I’d be happy with anything that wasn’t pizza.

I’m not sure how effective this diet is going to be especially when it’s going to be followed up by a big Easter brunch. The problem is that it’s very easy to get a lot of calories from pizza, even if you limit yourself to a few slices a day, depending on where you get the pizza.

It’s okay if I don’t experience much of a weight-loss. The diet coming up after the pizza diet is bound to get me back on the right track (if it doesn’t kill me).

Pizza Diet – Day 1 Report

Andy — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 16:59:07 +0000

Mamma Mia! What a fine diet this is!

The first thing you have to do if you’re planning on doing the Pizza Diet is that you have to move to New York City or somewhere else with good pizza. There’s just really no point doing it if you have to order from Domino’s every day. I mean, I guess Domino’s will do in a pinch, but you can buy a frozen pizza at a grocery store for a lot cheaper if your standards aren’t too high.

I’m using my personal chef, Giuseppe, to make my pizza. Here’s a video I just made of him:

Look good? Oh, you betcha my life! It’s delishoos!

The Basics: Okay, on my version of the pizza diet is that you can have up to four slices of pizza per day and two sodas as well. You cannot eat anything else or drink anything else besides water. You can have one meat topping per slice and as many vegetable toppings as you like. You do this for three days.

Diet Announcement #2

Andy — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 20:04:18 +0000

Okay, here’s what up next. It’s another three day diet, which is good because it means that I’ll finish up on Saturday, giving me the Easter holiday as my day of normal eating. So that works out well.

If I haven’t explained it already, this blog is a day behind on reality. So I’m already in the midst of day one of the next diet as I write this.

And what is the next diet?

Well, after two days of miserable juice, I thought I would make the next diet something a little more palatable.

That’s why the next diet is going to be a three day Pizza Diet.

Look for the Day 1 report tomorrow.