With all these fad diets you just have to use your head. Unless you have some kind of pre-existing condition you’re not going to do irreparable damage to yourself by not eating much or eating only a certain type of food for a few days. A lot of people seem to think the body is so precariously balanced health-wise, so they won’t let their kid go to a sleepover because maybe they’ll drink a bunch of soda that has high-fructose corn syrup in it, and what will that do to them? It won’t do anything. You need to chill the F out and use some common sense.

When I was doing my McDonalds and Coke diet I got an e-mail that suggested I was doing great harm to my body by consuming those products for a week. Sorry, but I just don’t buy it. If you’re one of those people who thinks we’re so delicate, try this thought experiment. Imagine you lived in a country of all-natural health food fanatics who had never heard of smoking. Then you move to this country and you hear that there are people who set an object on fire and then inhale the smoke from this object into their lungs– smoke which contains numerous toxins and carcinogens– and they might do this 40 to 60 times a day. If you were raised in this all natural, perfectly healthy country and I asked you how long you figured it would take before this habit of “smoking” would kill a person you’d probably say, “Oh, two or three days. Maybe a week.” But of course it doesn’t. People live for 30, 40, 50 years or more smoking that much.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. What I’m saying is that it’s unless you’re a medical anomaly, what you eat for a few days (such as this Stewardess Diet) is not going to have an overwhelming effect on your overall health although it may help you lose a few pounds temporarily in order to get into a dress or something. I urge you to use your common sense and not buy into the hysteria that people post all over blogs and message boards. In the long-term you know what foods are good for you and in the short-term I don’t think it really matters.

The next diet announcement will be coming soon.

Here are the details on Day 4.

Breakfast: ½ Grapefruit, Black Coffee or Tea (no sweetener or creamer)
Lunch: 2 hard-boiled eggs, green beans, 6 oz. pineapple juice.
Dinner: Broiled steak, lettuce & tomato salad (no dressing), 6 oz. tomato juice.

I’ll be back soon with the diet results.

In all honesty, I don’t think this diet is all that bad. Often when people hear “fad diet” they flip out and I guess it’s understandable because a lot of the diets are ridiculous. And if you told someone you were going on the TWA Stewardess Diet which was some fad diet that came out in the 80′s I’m sure they would get very self-righteous and say something like, “How dare you. You’re body is a temple you need to feed it right. ” and so on. But the food on this diet is relatively good for you, so if you just re-named it the lean-protein/fruit & vegetable diet then everyone would nod their heads and say what a good dieter you are. So feel free to go on this diet and call it whatever you want.

Heres the info for day 2 and 3:

Day 2

Breakfast: ½ Grapefruit, Black Coffee or Tea (no sweetener or creamer)
Lunch: Pork chop, lettuce salad (no dressing), 6 oz. tomato juice.
Dinner: Cauliflower, squash, green beans, 6 oz. applesauce.

Day 3

Breakfast: ½ Grapefruit, Black Coffee or Tea (no sweetener or creamer)
Lunch: Hamburger patty, celery & lettuce salad (no dressing), one small apple.
Dinner: Broiled chicken, stewed tomatoes, 6 oz. prune juice.

If you would like to follow along at home on the Stewardess Diet, here is what you will eat on Day 1.

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit and black coffee or tea
Lunch: Broiled steak, lettuce & tomato salad (no dressing), one small apple.
Dinner: 2 hard-boiled eggs, green beans, 1 grapefruit.

I’ve been thinking. If they really wanted stewardesses to lose weight, they should have been feeding them airline food. Nobody can eat that! Right? Right!!

Oh, my god, I’m so hilarious. Hold on, I need to make a note to myself:

– Send hilarious stewardess diet joke to Arsenio. –

That’s all for now. I’ll write again soon.

Sorry, I got off track a little bit, but I’ve been preparing some interesting posts for this site, at least they’re what I would call interesting. And with the Memorial Day weekend in there I didn’t feel like starting something new when I should be out eating hamburgers and hot dogs.

I’ve decided that for the next four days I will go on a classic fad diet. So starting tomorrow I will be doing the TWA Stewardess Diet. What guy doesn’t want to look like this:

You see, back in the good old days, stewardesses (aka flight attendants) had to be hot. This made the flight a lot more palatable for the traveling businessman. A sexy young blonde in a tight outfit gave a man something to think about besides plummeting to earth every time the plane took a dip. Back in the days when there were no TVs in the seats in front of you and few in-flight movies, the stewardesses were the whole show. Unfortunately as time has passed we’ve lost this notion that our flight attendants, waitresses, and spongebath nurses should be hot, young, foxes. Now, in the spirit of being inclusive we’ll let anybody who can fit down the aisle give you your peanuts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there is no place in the work world for the homely girls. For instance they could get wearing a mascot costume, perhaps dressed as a meatball handing out flyers in front of an Italian restaurant. Or they could become welders or have a job where they clean up toxic waste or some other mask-centric career. I’m just saying that I took a flight last weekend and my flight attendants were two bald, gay, men. They did their job perfectly adequately and they were friendly and nice, but when you get on board expecting Candy and Trixie and instead you get Bruce and Lance, it’s a bit of a disappointment.

So the mythology behind the Stewardess Diet is that this is the diet that TWA stewardesses (or any airline stewardess) would use to get in shape for their skimpy outfits. We’ll see how it works for me.